Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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