I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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