I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
