i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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