Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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