i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
