i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
