then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize