So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
