I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
