I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm always down for nudity.
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