1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
