well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize