No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
