I hope mine doesn't look like that
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
