Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
we should paint friendship bongs
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
