Where is the hickey?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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