I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
