last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
