Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
