great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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