I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
