So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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