i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
