You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
