she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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