you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
