Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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