they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
she peed on how many people?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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