this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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