Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she told me i tasted like america
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
