Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
