Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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