..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize