I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
