VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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