one two three fourrrrnication!
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize