I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
My pussy is not your playground.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
