her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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