i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
