I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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