i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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