we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
