No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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