on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Randomize
