; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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