The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
