i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
