Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
