never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
