i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
