He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
