Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
