We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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