Little spoons don't ask big questions
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
