the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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