lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
