I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
